Memories
by over-dramatic-05
Summary: Kim Boggs reflects on her lost love.
1. the next day: an introduction

A/N: this is my first Edward Scissorhand's fanfic. My plan is to make the rest of it a flashback... please give me any ideas you may have! I'm sorry for this chapter being so short!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Edward Scissorhands, I don't own any of the Bogg's family...  
  
Memories  
  
How can I be normal, Kim Boggs thought, lifting her tear stained head off of her pillow, When it's impossible for HIM to be?! It hadn't even been 24 full hours since Edward "died". At the time, Kim thought that telling everyone he was dead was the only way to keep him safe, but now she was realizing how much pain it was causing her.  
  
She walked over to her closet, first checking that no one was watching. Carefully she took out a plastic bin, one that her mother uses to put the Christmas decorations in. It was hers now. She smiled at it's contents; some torn curtains, a blood soaked dress, a videotape and under it all, the rusted scissorhand. She couldn't bear to leave the hand behind. The one thing she would always have of her precious Edward.  
  
"Kim!" her mother called from the kitchen. "Come help me with dinner!" solemnly Kim walked. Running her hands along the wall, where Edward had once run his. My mother is handling all this fairly well. Kim thought. She looked at her mother, seeing that she was wrong. Mrs. Boggs wasn't cheery; she had on her "Avon Calling" smile. The fakest smile anyone had ever seen. Kim could tell that her mother had been crying as well. She missed Edward too. But now, all he could ever be was a faint memory. The greatest memory Kim could ever have imagined. 


	2. Scissorhand: the first entry

A/N: I decided to change this format a little bit. Istead of making it just a story, it's like a look into Kim's brain. She's writing all of this in a journal or Diary... it's more personal that way.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Edward Scissorhands.  
  
After Dinner Kim returned to her room. She sat on her floor next to her bed, which had a regular mattress until her father filled her new one with water. She took the new notebook out from under her bed and opened to a fresh page. And she just let her hand write freely.  
  
"When I close my eyes I can still see him. Kind, gentle Edward. He was like a little lost puppy. I never knew my mom to bring home strays, sure she was kind and tried to help everyone in need, but she'd usually bring strays to the pound... God! What am I saying? That Edward was some sort of stray mutt?! He was... well Edward. I can't really describe it. I mean he wasn't a robot, but he wasn't completely human. Was he Frankenstein's monster? A girl can get a headache with all these speculations...  
  
I only know one thing for absolute truth, Edward was the sweetest man I ever knew. And ever will know.  
  
The Scissorhand. It lays on the bottom of my box. A reminder.  
  
I remember that first night, after I met him. After he collapsed at my feet and put holes in my brand new waterbed. I laid there on Kevin's bottom bunk trying to figure out who that was. Who was that strange man with scissors on the ends of his arms? Was he even a man?  
  
I asked Kevin that morning. "What is he? Exactly, I mean... is he... you know... dangerous?"  
  
Kevin laughed at my question. "Kim, you worry too much. I don't think Edward has the heart to hurt a fly! But if he ever wanted to hurt someone... those hands, man they could do some serious damage!"  
  
I shook my head. I had meant two kinds of pain. I felt something, I felt this butterflies in the pit of my stomach feeling. That 7th grade sweaty palm feeling. Something that I hadn't felt in a long time.  
  
Jim. What about him? Yeah, I guess I still loved him, I mean I don't think that you can just fall OUT of love, can you? But he didn't make me feel special anymore. I was beginning to feel like I was an obligation, and a trophy to him. I don't think he really cared much.  
  
Edward became somewhat of a celebrity in Suburbia. Everyone wanted him to trip their bushes. I have to admit, they freaked me out. I mean giant dinosaurs and cats and those swans... our quiet little neighborhood was beginning to look like something out of the Twilight Zone. Complete with a freak. Oh god, I didn't mean that! I mean, yeah Edward is different, but he's not really a freak, you know? I mean he was just Edward. Special I guess.  
  
Those hands. They did scare me! I mean, how couldn't they?! They were deadly. I thought that his "infirmity" was some sort of sign. "you can't like him Kim, he'd never be able to hold your hand!" and I loved holding hands. There was this feeling of importance I got when I was walking down the hallways at school, my hand entwined with a cute boy's. Jim hadn't held my hand in a while. He liked just putting his arm around my neck... I guess he thought he could "accidentally" you know... well you know... the car would hit a "bump" and he'd just grab me! I hated that! Edward would never do that! I kept telling myself. But listen to me, I mean all I'm doing is just obsessing. Obsessing over what never can be.  
  
I was always too scared to ask Edward if he would cut my hair. My beautiful blonde hair. It had been long for so long, I didn't think I could get used to it being short!  
  
It wouldn't have been because everyone else was doing it! God, no. it would have been more because, I'd be so close to him. Those cool blades on my neck. Sigh. Don't tell anyone this, but I used to watch him. When he was cutting hair. He'd have this look of satisfaction on his face. And the corners of his mouth would go into an almost smile.  
  
Oh my God! His eyes. Have you ever looked into eyes that never ended? That's where the puppy comes from. He had these eyes that were so sad. Those eyes that said "Love me and I'll never leave you" and with Edward you could believe it.  
  
Seriously, if anyone ever knew that I'd ever had these feelings... I'd be institutionalized."  
  
Kim could feel her eyes begin to water. She closed her notebook and hid it back under the bed. She slowly stood up and went to her mirror. She looked at herself and began to cry. Simply with the memory that "Edward was here".  
  
A/N: well, I hope y'all liked it! Please, any and all ideas are welcome! If you don't like it, tell my why! I would love some help... so just press review at the bottom here... and drop me a note! (does that sound to eager?!) 


	3. Curtains and cookies: entry number 2

A/N: alright, the next chapter. I just watched ESH this morning. So it's pretty fresh in my mind...I hope. Happy Reading!

Disclaimer: I don't own Edward Scissorhands, you know that!

"God, I look so old!" Kim said looking into the mirror. She had just returned from Jim's memorial service. Everyone pretending like they knew all along that Edward was some sort of monster. Everyone saying "Poor Jim" and giving her fake sympathy. Because her boyfriend died!

I can't take this anymore! Kim thought, settling in her spot. She opened up her notebook and began to write... the words spilling from her.

"so today was Jim's service. I always knew he was a bad egg. I mean, it wasn't just Edward that he treated badly. It was me. It was everyone! He wasn't some victim like everyone wanted to pretend he was. I mean, I could have just said that he jumped out the window. Because he realized that he was a bad man. But that's really cruel isn't it? Terribly cruel. I mean, he's dead! He's gone.

They had a small picture of Edward. On the table. I think my mom put it there. I feel so bad! I mean, mom is really heartbroken. All she wanted to do was help! And what did she do? Well she killed Jim, well Edward killed him, but you know what I mean. And that should help society... that monster can't procreate! Woohoo!

Maybe it's all the black I'm wearing... that's why I'm so bitter.

I looked up at his castle today. I think I saw him smiling down on me. I wonder if he can cry. I don't think I ever saw Edward cry once. If I were in his situation, I would probably cry all the time... well not all the time, but some pretty sad things did happen to him.

I caught him staring out the window at my Dad and Kevin once mumbling, "he didn't wake up" over and over again. I wish that he would have told me... about his father. The "inventor". But once we got close enough to share these things... he went away.

My mother replaced the wallpaper in the bathroom. I saw her tuck away the old stuff. She doesn't know that I know. she has an "Edward box" too. Wallpaper scraps, a few snapshots. The suspenders he wore. Where she got them, I don't know.

She was parked at the end of the Cul-de-sac. I think she wanted to go up there. Give him a proper good-bye. I'm glad that she didn't. maybe someday I'll tell her the truth. That he's really still alive. That if she wanted to, she could go see him. Maybe I shouldn't. maybe it's better the way it is.

My pillowcases smell like him. That smell of worn leather and metal. There was also a sweet smell to him. Like fresh cookies. I heard my mom say that she saw some sort of factory in the house. that she remembered from when she was a little girl, that the inventor made cookies. Sugar cookies, she told me.

But that was years ago. Decades ago. Why would he still smell like cookies? I used to think it was my imagination. That I just thought that I smelled cookies. But when he was holding me. When my head was resting on his shoulder and I could hear his heart beating... I breathed in the distinct smell of fresh cookies.

He is one of a kind, I guess.

The curtains. Still torn up. It amazes me how someone so kind and gentle, can be so destructive. Was it on purpose?

I'd made him mad, I guess. I wish that I would have just gotten over than initial fear! That stupid Suburbia mentality that everyone has to be like me or they don't matter! I wish I would have followed my gut.

I wish, I wish, I wish. "I wish" won't change what happened. "I wish" won't make Edward appear next to me. Won't make him hold me. Tell me all of his hopes and dreams. "I wish" won't make Edward normal.

But why would I want Edward to be normal? Isn't normal what makes our lives suck? Isn't normal why he was chased off our street like Frankenstein's monster! God! All they needed was torches! Then the picture would have been complete!!!!!!!

Too much bitterness.

But I really can't help it. I mean, this is probably the greatest love I will ever know. and I threw it all away for what? Normalcy!!!! No! I will not be normal! I guess all that I can do now is wait. Share his story. And wait for everyone here to die. So that I can be happy. So that I can go up that mountain and be with the man I love.

I can't do that. I'm going to get old. He's going to stay the same. I have pictures, mementoes. He has images, memories... don't I want to stay 17 forever? In his mind at least.

It's snowing outside... snowing..."

The tears were too much. Kim closed her notebook and went over to the window. She smiled, wiped away the tears and went outside. "Mom!" she called out. "I'm going to go dance in the snow!"

"be back by 10" her mother called, absentmindedly. She didn't hear a word Kim said. Her sadness had taken over every inch or her being. And she was too busy mending Edward's clothes. Hoping that maybe he would come back and wear them.


	4. the videotape: entry number 3

A/N: thanks to my reviewer:  
alanisjunkie- I'm glad that you like my story! Hope that this chapter has the same effects (does that sound morbid?)

Disclaimer: still don't own Edward... but maybe in time...

"Are you sure that you don't want to come with us Pumpkin? It would get your mind off Jim..." Mr. Boggs asked. Still begging Kim to join the rest of the family at his bowling tournament. She shook her head "no" and gave her father a hug, smiling at his clueless-ness... _he probably doesn't even know that Edward isn't here anymore..._ Kim thought as she closed the door behind her family. She could still see the pain in her mother's eyes.

With the family gone, Kim sat down in front of the television and popped in the video... the one of Edward on that talk show. She just kept rewinding that part:

"_Do you have a girlfriend?"  
" How about it? Is there some special lady in your life?" _

Kim smiled. She was afraid at first... when that first happened, that look in his eyes...

"Oh My God!" Kim said out loud. Running to her room. She needed to write something. She had the urge to put all of this down on paper.

"I was watching the videotape. I really didn't mean for this to happen. I mean it's just a video, right? But I got this chill. This feeling I used to get when Edward was right by me.

I've never told anyone about this... ever. Because it really is crazy. To think about loving someone... something that you pretend to hate. Pretend.

But I always knew that he was near me. I got this feeling of comfort this feeling like maybe, I was protected. I was trying really hard to just ignore it...

When I was watching it "live" with Jim and Kevin. I didn't get the feeling.... But when he looked into the camera. With that nervously cute look in his brown puppy dog eyes... (God, that was a weird description...). When he looked into the camera... he said, "I love you". No one else could hear it. Only me. In my heart.

But seriously, how strange is that? That I felt him near me. He can't be near me! I mean, he's up in his castle. Alone. And it's better for him. I've said this before... I mean he's safe up there. He is too good to be down here.

I want to see him again, I want to look him in the eyes and say, "Edward, I love you." I guess that I should just be happy that I said it to him once. But even so... he never actually said it back. But did he need to?

Jim used to tell me that he loved me all the time... I don't think he loved anyone. He doesn't know love. But did Edward? His father must have loved him. To have created him... but what does Edward know of love?

Does he have a heart? Or a brain? I don't wanna go into all the biology... these questions... they are just eating away at me.

He just got zapped by the wire... on my videotape... I hate that part. He looks so handsome onscreen. Maybe he could go to Hollywood and be an actor...

I remember that day. Mom preparing him to go on TV. Helping him get dressed... like he was a little kid. Edward never asked for help, I don't think he even knew how...

Mom tried to brush down his hair... that was funny. He just sat there while she put water on his head... and mousse. And hairspray. She tried a curling iron... his hair was meant to stand on end. You can't change that... I begged mom not to put any make-up on him. To try to cover up the scars... I didn't want him on TV with a lavender face! I haven't laughed in days... this was the first time I actually laughed out loud...

I hate Mrs. Monroe. She's such a... a.... a tramp! You know... Edward didn't do anything to her. He didn't "rape" her; I don't think that he even can! If anything, she attempted to rape him! Wouldn't you guess it.... This morning, I saw her hitting on the MAILMAN! The Mailman... he's like 50 and fat.

Edward was so scared that day. He didn't know what was happening. I don't know what was scarier... what she tried to do... or the fact that Mrs. Monroe took off her clothes!

I hate all the women here. I hate Suburbia... I mean, none of these people remember Edward... they all went to a "real" beauty salon to get their hair fixed. And I must have seen 5 landscaping trucks cutting down Edward's bush creation things... I don't understand. Are they trying to erase him? I don't think that they ever will.

He was a fad to them. They didn't deserve to have even met him.

Listen to me. I'm crazy. I'm obsessive. I deserve to be put away. Guess this is what heartache feels like.

Oops! I gotta go... family just got back... have to hide tape!"

Kim didn't think she had ever hurried that fast... she ran to put the tape in it's box... _I'll rewind it later, I guess..._ she thought. And put her diary under her mattress. She slipped under the covers and grabbed a book off her floor.

"Hello Kim" Mrs. Boggs said, smiling at her daughter. She recognized the pain in her daughter's eyes. She walked over to the bed and bent down kissing Kim's pale cheek. "I miss him too," Mrs. Boggs whispered. She patted Kim's hand and left, closing the door quietly behind her.


	5. his picture: entry number 4

**A/N: to my reviewers- thank you! **

**And I don't know if anyone else has this image... but when I'm writing this I see Kim scribbling like Veronica in _Heathers_ with the monocle and everything... and I know that they're both Winona... but it's a little freaky still... I dunno**

**Disclaimer: nothing has changed! I don't own Edward Scissorhands... no one does really...**

Kim sat on her bed. She wasn't crying anymore, she didn't have the tears left. But she couldn't help but wonder if it would be ok. To tell her mother... the truth. That if she wanted to, she could go up to that castle and see him. Even though Kim doubted that she would.

When her mother said goodnight she said "I miss him" and the next morning Kim woke up to find a framed picture of Edward resting on her pillow. _Gee_, Kim thought _now, I could really start a shrine._ Noone else knew about her box. Or her diary. Or did they? She carefully removed the notebook from it's hiding place and began to write.

"so mom misses him too. I knew that. But does she know how much I miss him? She can't really. She has her true love: Dad.... Right? I mean, c'mon...

I had this dream last night. I was with Edward... but it was like... he wasn't there. And then he went into this room and came out... different. He had hands. And his hair was combed, his skin wasn't as pale and he was wearing jeans and a tshirt. God, what does this mean? Does this mean that I want him to be like all the boys at school? Or does this mean that inside...he is?

I asked him to hold me and he said that he couldn't. he was afraid. Afraid because the only person he's ever loved "didn't wake up". In his mind, I think he thinks that all he can do is hurt.

No one else knows this. I used to go downstairs at night. Watch him sleep. Sometimes he'd still be awake and we'd talk. Well, mainly I would talk. And Edward would listen. I'd tell him that I didn't think I was pretty and he'd say in his quiet voice... "I think you are".

When I close my eyes... I can still hear him. I can feel him...

Mom refuses to change the sheets on the extra bed. She even still has it all pulled out. Dad tried to push it back in, but Mom... in the firmest voice I have ever heard said, "Bill, don't you dare touch that bed."

She really does think that he's going to come back. That somehow, someway... he'll come back down the mountain into Suburbia.

None of the ladies on the block call my mom anymore. Not that I would want them to, but some of them were nice. The whole family has sorta been ostracized... I don't care much. Another couple of months and I'm out.

I saw a car go up there today. To his mansion. I don't know why. I think it was some kids from the rival high school. They keep spreading all of these rumours about it being haunted. I know Edward. He's hiding. But is he? He's so trusting now. I'm afraid that some kid is going to ask him to do something.... Something terrible, and he'll do it because they "asked him to"

Those words still ring in my head "because you asked me to" he could've gotten killed! If I can... but I mean, he did it all for me! I hate Jim.

Man... somehow all I can think about is how I'll be spending my Saturday nights. How terrible is that? I'm still the same old selfish Kim. And I hate it.

My mom put his picture on my pillow. He looks so handsome. I miss his smile.

I miss him at dinner. He was so helpless, but wouldn't ask anyone for help... at all.

I remember one night. It was just me, him and Kevin, my parents went to a PTA meeting or something... and we ordered Pizza. I don't think I even finished one piece. I just sat and watched him eat his pizza. Balancing each slice on his blades... on his "thumb" ... it went right through the pizza. And Kevin started to laugh. He started to be like Jim... but I smiled and tried to help him. He was so embarrassed. I think I actually saw him blush. (unless that was mother's newest cure for his scars...)

Wow, I think I've written too much. But this helps. And believe it or not... it makes me feel like he's here when I laugh about all the good times we had."

That last line stung Kim. "had" she hated the past tense... and couldn't believe she was using it... but what else could she do?

She stood up wiped her eyes (in case any tears had fallen) and went into the den to see what her family was up to.


	6. goodbyes: the final entry

A/N: well my friends, this is my last chapter. Kim has written all she can. So enjoy! I hope the ending suits all of you...  
thank you for everyone who has reviewed... and to those who didn't... it still makes me happy that you read my story.  
I'll stop dragging on...

**And now the conclusion to...Memories.**

Ever since school started again, everything was different. A lot of her friends treated Kim like an outsider... whether it be because of Edward... or because Denny had told everyone that she "dumped" Jim the night he died. Kim quit cheerleading, it wasn't the same she didn't have the enthusiasm anymore. _This isn't who I want to be._ Kim thought as she passed a mirror.

Sitting in study hall, she took out her notebook, the journal. Ready to make one final entry... before fully carrying out her plan.

"Well, this is it. I don't even remember the first thing I wrote in here. But I pray to god, that I remember the last. Everyone here at school sucks. Seriously, they do. I don't think any of the kids here even MET Edward... Suzanne was always afraid of him. "I can't eat that... he used his hands" she was always a superficial bitch.

I've decided to graduate early. I took most of my required classes my junior year. I was only staying here for Jim. That sounds so cliché... but I'm leaving now. Mom doesn't know this yet, but I'm going to the city. I have to get out of the small mindedness of Suburbia.

I tossed the idea of going up there in my head... over and over again. I thought that maybe I could go up there late at night... just to say goodbye. In the end, I decided I just couldn't. They say if you love something or someone you have to let it go. That's what I'm doing with Edward.

He'll always be with me. He'll always be in my box... and in my heart. My children will hear stories about him... and so will their children. I'll keep that picture of him under my pillow always.

I'm going to get married to someone else.... Someday. He'll know about Edward. That no matter how much I love him, I love Edward a trillion times more.

I packed everything away. Getting ready for my move. I carefully wrapped up his Scissorhand, the videotape, the torn curtains and my blood stained dress. They're coming with me.

This is so surreal. Me talking about moving...thinking about leaving Edward up there all alone. But I have to, really I do. I can't go up there. I can't even say I'm going to the city and really go to him! I can't! it's just illogical! I wouldn't be able to stand it! He's all alone. And I hate that, but I need people. I wish there was a way to be with him, and to be around everyone... but there isn't. it just can't happen.

So this is goodbye. The last entry. I'll never forget Edward. But I can't remember him.

So goodbye past! Hello future! Hello new loves, and new friends!

I love you, Edward."

Kim gently put that final period in and closed the book. The class was long over, but no one seemed to tell her, it didn't matter much anyway, she was going home. The packed up her books and walked silently out of the classroom, and out of the school. She hugged the notebook tight to her chest.

She walked through the dark trees and up the steep mountain. She saw the garden sculptures... _This is what Heaven looks like_. She told herself.

Kim stood silent. Making sure that she didn't hear the snipping of his scissors.

She crept up and placed the notebook in the palm of his hand... the sculpture.

"Good bye, Edward" she whispered. Blowing a kiss towards the old house.

she left that day only to come back years later and raise her children in Suburbia.

Kim was not unnoticed. Edward watched longingly from the window. Wanting to touch her, but knowing he couldn't. He waited a few minutes before going downstairs and into the garden to retrieve what she had left.

Carefully he carried the notebook upstairs and sat on his bed.

He opened to the first page he recognized Kim's graceful writing.

"When I close my eyes I can still see him..." 

well folks, that's all she wrote!

**Just a sweet little fic. With an ending that Burton would be proud of.**

**And for the final time:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own _Edward Scissorhands_, he is the ingenius creation of Tim Burton, and forever will be.**

**Thanks to all my readers. **


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